im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize