your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
