im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
