I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
