he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Damn victory sex feels great
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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