I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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