I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
