Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
