I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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