You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
