I just cut my nipple shaving
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
