Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
