your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I smell like Dick and happiness
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
