I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
