I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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