He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
