super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
