I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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