You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
