Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
