Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
