i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
