If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
