I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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