So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
