The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
