I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
