dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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