OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize