my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize