Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
