Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize