I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
