Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
