I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
