Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
