i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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