mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
