i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
