You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
