Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
