Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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