just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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