well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
