just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
