If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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