During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
