This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
