Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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