I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
