Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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