i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
