How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize