so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
