I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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