Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
