forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize