hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
