But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
