i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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