I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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