There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
