she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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