I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
