i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
