U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
